A fragile helpless little life in your hands.Counting on you to do it right.You know what is best and what needs to happen to really show the baby love. But HOW???It seems so simple just to log on....find someone awesome...and then let it happen.But the thoughts that went through our heads were crazy.How are we REALLY going to know??Are they genuine? They say that they are going to let you in the baby's life now....but will they really include you once that paper is signed?...there will be nothing legally binding..Are they really being themselves..or just what they think you want them to be?How do they really feel about teen pregnancy???Sure they are getting a baby out of it...but are they deep down inside judging my daughter?Are they judging me?If there is an infertility problem...will they resent the baby they get because they could not bear them themselves?How can we really know that baby will be carefully taken care of?Sure..they may build a great relationship with my daughter...but what if something happens to her??Will they still let me be involved?Who ARE these people really??
The adoption world is a tough business.My eyes have been really opened.I have read some of the suggestions on how to make your profile look good(adoptive parents)...how to talk to "could be" birth moms...people having to present themselves and hoping so bad that a girl will like them.I just cannot imagine.It really plays on my mind.You have no more than 8 months to make complete strangers become family.The trust that needs to be built here on both sides of the coin is HUGE!!!You are basically finding someone who you will raise a child with.This is such a delicate thing..and such a short time to do it.
I am so greatful for our "ones".They have taken all of this craziness away.They have given comfort to a very scary thing. The most impressive thing is that they were themselves.They said either way...if we decided on them or not...they would be here for us.Eventhough this was thier dream...they would look past that to be a support.And there was no pressure...just new friends enjoying each others company.Amazing.
How do you know if they are "the ones?"......there is not on ounce of doubt.
I love the blessings in my life!!!
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so happy to hear that you've found the "ones" and that their perfect for you guys :)
ReplyDeleteThe one thing I've learned from our journey with adoption is HONESTY is #1. I'm not saying we didn't make mistakes with our open adoption, because we did for sure. but we learned from them and moved forward so that we would never repeat them. We love our sons birthmother, not only that but we VALUE her as a person, as his angel, and as our friend. Always be upfront with each other about everything. if they are falling short on their end, let them know because it is a learning process at first. I wish you all the best! :)