Never knew this would be this hard. Never knew that my girl could hurt with every ounce of her body. Seems like her labor pains that came and went have changed into emotional pains.So hard to look at someone I love so curled up sleeping with the blanket she swaddled her baby in, in the hospital.But as the waves come in and breaks my heart more...they do subside and during those moments there really is peace.The highs have seemed to be more in the afternoon...and then crash at night with the lonliness.But tonight...for the first time..there is calmness.Ahhh serenity. I have felt so badly because I love Avery's parents so very much....but with the hurt in my own heart...and my own daughters torment...It has not been easy to focus on that.But as all is stilled for a time...with all my heart congratulations.You both are amazing. I know how special my own kids are and I could not imagine not having them. Avery was finally ready and she lead us to you. I know you will love her and cherish her as we would. I am so grateful that we were able to take part in the making of your family. Now more than ever...I feel like my daughter had been chosen to do this work. When I found out that she was expecting, and very much anti adoption...I remember wondering what was in this for my girl? I would tell my self nothing and was sure that she would be forgotten and be worse off than she had been before. But as God has walked us through this..I have realized just how much she gets. Things were not good for her before. I would kneel down and plea that she would be ok...and make it through all she was facing. I was terrified. I thought I may lose her in this life. But now as I look at her ....even her countenance has changed. Between the tears....there is a daughter of god that KNOWS she is a daughter of God. She knows that he loves her and has never left her side . She has said the beautiful words...testimony. From a hurting little girl in a dark world she could not escape....I see her standing....strong and steady...bright as the sunlight, a young woman that has grown and matured so much. My dear little Avery baby...you gave her life just as she gave you yours.You helped her discover who she REALLY is.I thank my Heavenly Father, I thank my little grandbaby, I thank her parents, and my beautiful amazing strong daughter.I know we have a rough road ahead, but I know we will be lead.
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I have tears streaming down my face, beautiful. May god continue to bless you all.
ReplyDeleteYour words have touched our hearts in a way that we cannot express. The courage you both had to begin this journey and the faith that you continue to hold to the road - we cannot imagine - your words provide a glimpse - but the reality and enormity, we will never know.
ReplyDeleteI do wish you could know the vast numbers of lives you impact and touch just by sharing your story.
We pray that you will find comfort and peace in the days, weeks and months to come. We don't know you but we love you dearly and are praying for you and for peace of heart.
The Stout Ranch doors are always open to you should you ever need a haven or friend.
~SR